BEING POOR AND OWNING MORE THEN ONE HOUSE

This is not a discussion of how to, because I don’t know, but I’ve been in several conversations with people who can’t possibly have any money and yet own three houses. Some of them own them to turn them around, but some of them just own them, a city house and a country house seem to be a popular pair-up. ??!
A PHONE CALL WITH MARK MOTHERSBAUGH

A recent showing of Mark Mothersbaugh’s art work, at Bambi Gallery in Philadelphia, along with the rumors that DEVO is back on tour lead The Vulture to question whether Mark Mothersbaugh’s life ever had any dull moments. We all know he went to Kent State, witnessed the student massacre there (May 4th marks the 37th “anniversary” of this occasion), and started the band DEVO during the University’s subsequent closing with Jerry Casale, Bob Casale, Bob Mothersbaugh and Alan Meyers, but was there ever a time when Mark dreamt of an “ordinary” life?
We talked to Mark over the phone (he was in LA, sitting somewhere in his lime-green colored studio, Mutato Muzika, on The Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles) about what his life is and used to be, finding out what devolution really means, and chatting about the days before people really “got” ironic humor. We meant to question Mothersbaugh about his more-recent musical career, creating the soundtracks for movies, notably Wes Anderson’s, but were unable to quench our curiosity because of a strange horde of killer bees. . .
DAYS OF SHOVELING POOP
The Vulture: Hey, this is Mark Mothersbaugh?
Mark Mothersbaugh: Yeah.
V: Thanks for doing this interview, so I’m in Philadelphia, you just had an art show there at Bambi?
MM: Yeah. I hope it went well.
V: I think it did, I was there and it looked like it was well attended.
MM: Oh, good.
V: It seems like you’ve always been able to do whatever you wanted, you were in DEVO and now you have your own music company (Mutato Musika), I was wondering if you have ever done something you weren’t so proud of?
MM: (laughs) Of course, everybody has regrets.
V: Okay. But have you ever had to work a regular job?
MM: Yeah.
V: Like what?
MM: Let’s see. . . I worked at a hardware store before, when I first got out of High School. . . and in school lots of rotten stuff happened. I had kids hold me down and actually cut off my hair because I had my hair longer then and I wasn’t combing it back like a greaser would, which was what you were supposed to do. . .
V: Oh, wait. I know you went to school at Kent State, but where are you from?
MM: Akron, Ohio. When I was a little kid, during high school I used to shovel manure, the neighbors. . . When I was in High School we moved to this kind-of farm area of Akron, on the outskirts of the city part, and our neighbors had a barn with horses in it. So I used to shovel poop.
Jobs I had after high School. . . I worked at Chess King, which was a chain of really cheesy clothes that were kind of loosely based on Carnaby Street and Haute Asbury, you know 1968 or something, when this was going on. I found out that I didn’t like working in retail.
Then I worked for this mom and pop company before I went to college, where I designed neckties. They silk-screened things on neckties, so I did drawings that ended up on neckties when I was a kid.
AND HE WORE A HAT, AND HE HAD A JOB, AND HE BROUGHT HOME THE BACON.
V: I read somewhere that you had a dream that you would grow up to be a famous artist. . . but. . .
MM: Yeah, second grade. That’s a true story.
V: . . . but did you ever think about doing something else then going to art school and becoming an artist?
I. . . I just remember being dumbfounded about the whole process of how you grow up. When I was a kid it was overwhelming. When I was a young kid I remember thinking “There’s no way I could be a husband and a father and a bread winner. How in the hell am I going to do that?” I couldn’t imagine it. I looked at what adults did and I thought “How do they do that?”
I dunno. Part of it was just. . . well, it’s probably not good for a blog, or I’d tell you a darker story.
V: I’m sure that would be great for a blog.
MM: But that’s what I mean. I just stopped myself. I just censored myself.
DEVOLUTION 101
V: We’re you prepared for becoming a famous person? When DEVO made it big?
MM: We thought we had a really good idea. We were naive enough not to know what we were up against, we didn’t know what the odds were that we would be successful.
I didn’t know what a recording contract was, I didn’t know what being in a band meant. I had no idea about going to a real recording studio, the records we were pressing down in Cincinnati, were recorded in a garage in Akron. We were doing it on a four-track and I just had fantasies about what a recording studio was.
I actually thought it was a lot cooler than it was when I actually got to one.
V: Did you think a lot about being famous before it happened?
MM: We thought about it a lot. For us, we knew what we wanted to do somewhere around the time they shot those kids at Kent State, because they shut down the campus at that time. We couldn’t go to school that spring or that summer, so Jerry (Casale) and I, he just came to my house and we talked about music we wanted to make.
We wanted to be like an art clearing house. We wanted to be an Akron, Ohio version of Andy Warhol’s factory. Except smarter. We wanted to be musical reporters, reporting things in a creative way. Reporting the good news of devolution.
V: What exactly is devolution?
MM: It was a term we coined to define what we saw happening around us.
V: What did you see happening around you?
MM: We saw Three Mile Island, and nuclear power plants melting down and people having more and better technology than ever but using it in stupider and dumber ways and we felt like we were in a cultural wasteland to begin with, being in Akron. We felt like we were in this weird island where we could see things, or hear things that were going on in London or New York or in San Francisco or on the Sunset Strip and we thought, well, we want to be a part of all of that.
But it wasn’t happening in Akron. There was no Summer of Love in Akron, Ohio, ever.
V: But you got some of the violence.
MM: We did get some of the violence.
I BEEN DIPPED IN DOUBLE MEANING
V: Do you think the term devolution still describes the state of the world?
MM: Its freaky, how the acceleration of devolution has happened since we first started talking about it. It’s now. . .even the UN agrees!
V: Is that why you’re still touring with DEVO today?
MM: Well, I guess. I think whatever DEVO was. . . I think people understand it more or appreciate it more today. I think our music was probably ahead of it’s time. I hesitate to say this but I think it fits, because even albums near the end were too far out for most people. I think the songs are more enjoyable now and that they ft into this world more than they fit into the late 70s and early and mid 80s.
V: At the time were you aware that you were doing something that most people wouldn’t understand?
MM: I think one of our biggest miscalculations was not realizing how much people misunderstood ironic humor.
V: Yeah. That has come full circle.
MM: Even our record companies worked against us. You would think, because eventually they were going to make millions of dollars off of us, that they would have tried to understand what we were about and how to best represent or exploit it.
Instead, from the very beginning they referred to us as “wacky”, “quirky”, there were reviews in which we were called “fascist clowns”. I thought that was a weird contradiction, but it was just an attempt to negate anything that we were saying. The soup du jour of that day was Prince and Madonna, or if you wanted to go a little alternative it was Elvis Costello, which was basically retro music and not much substance. Basically, turn your brain off and party your butt off, was the order of the day.
There were DEVO fans who got what we were doing, but a lot of people only thought of us as the band who played “Whip It“, which was an awesome party song.
V: That’s still the only DEVO song most jukeboxes have.
MM: Yeah, of course. That’s the song that got the most radio play in the US.
V: Was it different in Europe?
MM: Slightly. I don’t know if Europe’s any different but the United States is like a big, dumb, giant. It was more-so before the internet was made available, so that people could find ways to circumvent the giant. It used to be that people would walk into the only record store in their town and they’d see a row of Van Halen life-size cutouts and then there’d be DEVO, Captain Beefheart, Frank Zappa, and Wild Man Fischer, or anything that was slightly different, was crammed into one tiny corner.
ARE WE NOT MEN? WE ARE DEVO!
V: Is that positivity for the internet age?
MM: The technology itself is inherently benign or inherently benevolent if you let it be. It’s all the user. It’s not the internet we have to be afraid of, it’s the human mind, or lack of it.
What would it take to inspire a generation of humans? That’s what DEVO was attempting to find out, and we failed somewhat honorably.
V: I think you inspired a lot of people.
MM: Different people inspire different things. Some people may inspire kids to kill a cop, or quit school and smoke pot.
V: Do you think you’ve had positive influence over people?
MM: Some. I think some. People write me letters and tell me they became involved with DNA research or different things in school because they thought about the empowerment that knowledge has. Instead of just thinking “You Gotta Fight for Your Right to Party.”
I guess people do have to fight for their right to party, but in a way I think that’s kind of a waste. Make sure that gets to Barcelona because we’re playing with the Beastie Boys on June 14th or 15th in Barcelona. . .
THE INTERVIEW ENDS DUE TO A SURGE IN KILLER BEES (WHEN A PROBLEM COMES ALONG, WHIP IT)
V: What are you into today, what are your favorite things?
MM: If I told you it would sound pathetic. The thing I’d love to do most right now is sleep. . . I adopted a little girl last year, who’s almost. . . she’s two and three quarters right now. . . and she doesn’t know it yet, but I think she’s a boy. She has total tomboy energy, and she’s up long before I am pulling at my eye-lids and being like (imitates a high-pitched voice) “come-on daddy, daddy, get-up”.
Lately, well it was Sesame Street, and then it was Tele-Tubbies and now it’s DEVO. She’s like the most unashamed fan I have ever seen. She got into DEVO 2.0, and she went on stage with us last year. She saw dad standing out there and instead of being mortified she got excited and would run out onstage and then we’d have to take her backstage. She was cute.
Now she watches every video we make and I have to zoom past when Jerry has his conversations about sex. He gets a little too graphic for a two and a half year old. We were watching it the other day and someone came over with their kids and I realized that I found myself zooming past anytime Jerry started to talk because I knew he was eventually going to get slightly specific.
It was then that I realized that I was going to spend the rest of my life hiding things from my daughter. Either that, or I’m just going to say “here, your dad wasn’t always a father”. . .
Just to show you that we’re a glutton for punishment, we’re going to adopt another little girl. . . she said it’s what? She said it’s an emergency? Excuse me, I have to take the other line. . .
V: Okay. (”Making Time” by Creation plays, presumedly from the Rushmore soundtrack)
MM: Hey!
V: Whoa!
MM: It is an emergency! My house is full of bees right now!
V: You’re kidding!
MM: There was a window, an electric window, that of course didn’t close right last night and a swarm of bees went through the window, or through the neighborhood, I kind of live in the hills. . .
V: We’re they killer bees?
MM: You’d think so with the phone call I just got.
V: Do you need to go clear up the bees?
MM: Yes. I need to go do some bee extraction right now.
GREEN IS COOL, BIG BOX WANTS CRED, CAN YOU CASH IN?

I don’ think there’s a person amongst the people who won’t at least give lip-service to wanting to do right by the planet and slow down global warming, but the amount of celebrities jumping on the band wagon is getting kind of annoying. The positive but scary news, scary because this means that everyone now has to acknowledge the problem, comes from big business: WalMart (and if WalMart is doing good, then you have to, or you can’t poke evil at them anymore) is actually using a “green issue” to get some cred (and knock out that young up-start Target?). One of the first stores features a windmill, solar panels and a drip-irrigation system for water conservation. Very serious, and begs the question; is Wal-Mart cool now?
Now, if you’re me, you’re wondering if there is money to be made by doing good? After-all mommy always told me that “happiness is finding a job you can live with”. WalMart believes green will save them cash, if it works for them then that means everyone will know, which means that the companies that provide these renewable energy resources will make money. Suddenly buying stock seems morally sound, which leads me to a word string on some capital minded young lips: socially responsible stocks. Wow! Maybe capitalism can equal moral decisions!
Plus if you don’t have cable you’ve been missing out on this Planet Earth show:
NEW H&M ADS RAISE NUMEROUS QUESTIONS

Like, how old is Madonna? Web sources say she was born on the 16th of August 1958, making her 49. This means, unless Madonna has found some crazy lotion or fountain, that she has indeed had multiple cosmetic surgeries (one other theory is that she is dead and this apparition in the ads is actually a stand-in or robot.)
The internet speaks its various opinions for your enjoyment:
“I tell you what, I went into shock at Madonna’s new head,” Sharon said. “See, she’s got Botox in that forehead. Oh, Madonna, I know what you’ve been doing! There’s not one line on that bloody head!”
-Ozzy Osbourne’s wife, Sharon.
“In 1990 Madonna had a collagen injection to her lips to give them a fuller look for her “Justify My Love” video. Since collagen is a natural substance the effect is only temporary and her bee-stung lips returned to normal after 3-4 months.”
-found on http://www.absolutemadonna.com
“Why does Madonna’s face look so square all of a sudden? Her face used to look pleasantly heart-shaped and now it is more angular. It couldn’t be cheek implants, could it? I never thought that Madonna would be the type to indulge in plastic surgery.”
-found on http://goodplasticsurgery.com
‘However, “Madonna’s spokeswoman denies the star has received any plastic surgery treatment.†Hmmm. What are you hiding Madonna? What else have you done?’
found on http://www.makemeheal.com
Besides all that, H&M’s brilliant ad campaign:
Tricia Avey: The Young Invincible with an Iron Face.

The Young Invincibles, not a group of superheros, or a band, but a health insurance nickname for the young and uninsured, the healthy healthcare-less between 19 to 29 who are taking the gamble that they won’t get really sick or injured for the next couple of years. The motive is usually the cash, that is, they don’t have the extra. Most of them are struggling to pay the rent and get a foot-hold on whatever their dreams are, they don’t want to settle-down to full-time employment with benefits just yet, some of them are struggling through school, and most of them don’t know a thing about healthcare anyways.
So the question is what happens to the Young Invincible whose luck runs out?
In hopes of answering part of that query The Vulture sat down with a member of this group; Tricia Avey. Over high-life ponies at Ray’s Happy Birthday bar in South Philadelphia the 24 year old waitress and life enthusiast told us about two bike accidents that caused her a whole lot of bloody head trauma while putting a hole in her wallet.
I’M ABOUT TO HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
The Vulture: Do you have healthcare now?
Tricia Avey: No, I still don’t.
V: You had two bike accidents, you wanna tell me how the first one came about?
TA: The first one was after the RELoad race, the Alleycat in 2004 I think.
V: What’s an Alleycat?
TA: Alleycat is a bike messenger race, really free-form and in the streets.
V: And there’s a lot of drinking involved?
TA: Yeah. Lots of drinking and debauchery and no organization really. I mean, the streets aren’t closed down, of course.
It was late, around 3 in the morning, and I was heading back home (West Philadelphia), I had these four young adults from Brooklyn and Richmond with me and my front tire busted. I went head-first into a curb and I broke my finger, broke my clavicle and I also had a head trauma because I went head-first into the curb. (Tricia laughs) It was bad.
MY HEAD REALLY HURTS
V: What happened right went you had the wreck?
TA: You mean what happened to the bike? I was intoxicated and so were the guys with me, basically the bike busted. The last thing I remember was riding over a sewer grate and I knew something was wrong because my tire just went (makes a bpblt noise). I tried to put down my foot and the next thing I knew I was flying.
Then I was waking up on the curb with these four guys I didn’t really know at all looking at me in terror because my face is bleeding all over. (laughs some more)
V: What was your first thought? What did you think was wrong with you?
TA: I just kept saying obscenities, I tried to get up and that’s when I realized my finger was broken. I remember holding my finger up to my face, the guys kept trying to get me to relax. I kept nodding off and they were trying to keep me awake. Then an ambulance came and I was really, really, out of control.
I was really mad. When you have a head trauma you kind of get a little crazy. I had a concussion and I was trying to get the paramedics to give me water and I was cursing at them. They just wanted me to relax (laughs). I was so angry, they wouldn’t give me water because they said “you can’t have fluids”.
I remember it being really scary. That was the first time I ever hurt myself, I never hurt myself until then.
IF I DON’T GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE, I’M GONNA GO BERSERK
V: When you were in the ambulance, and later in the hospital were you at anytime concerned about how much this was going to cost or were you just too out of it?
TA: Yeah. I was obviously intoxicated and I had a concussion so I was very out of it. I remember laying the emergency room and they cut off all my clothes, from the bottom up, they cut off all of them. I was confused, I didn’t really know what was going on.
I remember laying in my room all alone, no one had checked on me for a long time when a doctor came and talked to me. He told me that I might have bleeding in my brain and that they needed to keep an eye on me. That’s when I really panicked, because I was all alone.
I started crying and he just walked away. He just left me there.
I’M CRAZY AND I’M HURT
V: Do you think you were given bad treatment because of your healthcare situation?
TA: Yeah. I felt like Hahnemann was a very terrible hospital to be in. I told them I didn’t have health insurance, I was concerned about that, but they had no choice they had to treat me. They were not good at all.
I would call buttons, they wouldn’t come in there, I had an IV in my arm for fluids and I think I had an allergic reaction to it. I was sweating and breathing hard, I felt like I was going to throw up. I was moving around and the IV ripped out of my arm. It was hanging there, bloody. I was trying to call them to get them to come in. It took them half-hour, forty-five minutes and they were right out there in the hallway.
When they finally came in they were mad at me.
V: Do you think Hahnemann was just a bad hospital or that it was about healthcare?
TA: I know they were having funding problems, it’s like a slumming it hospital. There was no one in that hospital.
V: Why do you think the ambulance took you there?
I asked them to take me to UPenn, I think. I was worried about getting good care, it was closest to the place of the accident (22nd and Walnut), and it was close to where I was living. They took me all the way to Broad Street. They could have just taken me straight up Walnut to Penn.
V: Did you you tell them you were uninsured?
TA: Yeah.
V: Why weren’t you insured?
TA: I had it (healthcare) when I was in school, I was on my mom’s health insurance, but I dropped out and my mom dropped me. At the time I was in community college and they didn’t really offer anything. To be honest with you It never occurred to me to look for health insurance. I wasn’t making a lot of money. I was a waitress.
You don’t really think about it until something happens and then you’re screwed.
V: So how did you manage to pay your bills?
I had experience, my brother had a head injury, head trauma runs in my family. My brother had his bills taken care of and my mom said she’d look into how. I started getting all the bills and I started panicking. One was $3,000, one was $7,000 and etc. It’s crazy, it’s hospital stays, cat-scans and whatever.
At the bottom of the bill it says “If you cannot pay this bill please dial this number”. I had to go through someone who was kind of like a case-worker at Hahnemann. There was a lot of red tape. I had to submit paycheck stubs, all kinds of stuff.
HEAD ON MY SHOULDERS, I’M GOING BERSERK
V: You want to tell me about accident number two?
TA: Yeah. I had another accident, on my bike, again. It was basically right in front of my house. I was on my way back from a bar. It sounds bad because both of these involve drinking and riding my bicycle.
I was riding two blocks from Royal Tavern to my house. I just put my bag on my one shoulder, instead of putting it over my head like you should so it doesn’t move around when you’re riding. I figured I was only going two blocks. . .
I was crossing over Washington Ave and my purse slips down my arm to my wrist and over my handle bars and into my front wheel. It jammed the wheel. That happened so quickly that I didn’t realize what was happening before it happened at all. I went face first into the road.
I remember seeing the concrete. Sometimes, right before I go to sleep I get that flash in my mind of the concrete. It was pretty gnarly.
I had been knocked out for a minute when a guy pulled up in a car. I can’t even remember what he looked like but he was trying to get me to get up and I got up and told him I was fine. I had an adrenaline rush, but then I started to see all the blood.
He told me I wasn’t fine and after he helped me up I fell right back over my bike. I started panicking and he was trying to ask me what I wanted to do. My boyfriend, at the time, was working at the bar I just came from so I asked him to take me back there.
V: At this time were you thinking you didn’t want an ambulance called?
TA: Yeah. I had already been through that. I was scared and I wasn’t sure what was going on. I knew that my face and my jaw and my teeth were, something was wrong, I was afraid to look.
He took me back to Royal. They were closing up and when I knocked on the door they all started panicking. They thought I got jumped.
ALWAYS TALK THE SAME OLD TALK, THE SAME OLD LIES
TA: My boyfriend at the time drove me to the Penn Hospital, which was a great hospital. I had broken my jaw and my teeth were messed up, I lost a front tooth and the other one was chipped, I had also split my chin open and needed stitches.
I remember looking in the mirror on the way up there in his car and he said “Don’t look in the mirror.” The first shock was my teeth, they were all smashed together. I started panicking really badly. When they told me I had a broken jaw I couldn’t believe it.
V: How did you feel? I mean your teeth, that’s vital.
TA: I had to deal with that for a minute. I had to deal with people looking at them. I had straight teeth my whole life and all the sudden I had gnarled, pretty bad looking teeth. Mostly I kept my mouth closed.
I had to go back to work and I was waitressing. I had to talk to people, and you know me, I’m one to smile, but I was so embarrassed to smile. I f’ed myself up pretty bad.
V: How did you deal with your bills that time?
Pennsylvania Hospital was so much better. They gave me a form as soon as I was in there. It was simple.
YOU SEE THE WAY I AM, YOU STOP ANY TIME YOU CAN
V: But Emily Glaubinger threw a fundraiser-party for you “Basha for the Trasha”, what was that all about?
I wanted to get my teeth fixed. I had to get that done at the dentist and there was no form for that. I had to get a check-up, I had to get them cleaned, they had to give me a root-canal on the tooth I broke in half. The root-canal was $800 alone, and then there was all the visits and x-rays. They told me that the veneer for my tooth would be another $1,200, which was pretty insane.
I got really pissed at them after awhile so I stopped going. So I still have a little bit of a broken tooth.
V: Do you worry a lot about not having health insurance?
TA: I wish everyone could have health insurance and that it would be an easy thing to do. I know that I would love to have dental right now.
V: Do you wish you had been paying $150 a month all this time, or whatever it would be, instead of dealing with this now?
TA: Yeah I guess. I was younger then, I mean, I’m almost twenty-five now, I just had a different mind-set about things. I was just like whatever, and I’ve dealt with it.
Sometimes I get really pissed that my mom dropped me off of hers. I know I’m supposed to be a grown-up but things like these aren’t made easy enough in the country, at all.
V: Do you feel like no one ever really told you about health insurance, like where to get it, or who to get it from?
TA: Not really. Right now I just want dental, although it’ll be weird when my teeth are normal again. If they ever get normal again. My chipped tooth has become a sort of trademark.
Happy 25th Birthday Tricia!
Dogs dressed up to look like something that is not a dog:

(Or cute is the new cocaine revisited.) Lacking a kid, and needing to post something about their life on the web, many young people turn to their four-legged companions. More people will have more interest in your dog then your baby, especially if you dress it up to look like something it’s not.
Dressing your dog up to look like a turkey isn’t just for halloween anymore, everyone’s favorite joke has taken to the streets, sans holiday, (you don’t believe me but I read it in Elle) and is backing up the information highway:
A Japanese dog dyed to look like a panda bear:
Computer won’t show the video? Try the slideshow.
A site specific to dogs dressed as bees.
In related news, mailboxes dressed up like robots.
TAX RAPS

Because everyone needs a little cheering up around this time of year, and because filing online is one of the best things about the internet (except for maybe if the internet could do away with taxes forever). Check out the Turbo tax rap contest. Vanilla Ice will pick the Grand Prize winner of $25,000 on April 15th.
My fav is entry 336 of 370, “E-dubble”:
IAN CURTIS KILLS HIMSELF (AGAIN)

“Just another example of the geeks trying to imitate the popular kids and failing miserably.”
-One of the “Heathers” in New Balance has decided to get into the modified sneaker action. Bad, bad, bad, idea. We hate to say it, but New Balance really had the market cornered on “cool because it’s not” and now they look like they’re trying to hard.
Plus the Joy Division trend is dead in the water. Urban appropriated this image onto a T-shirt three something years ago, and Sophia Coppola nailed the coffin-lid with her Marie Antoinette soundtrack. (Not, that Joy Division isn’t still awesome, we would never say that, but most music lovers have set their sites to New Order by now.) These Joy Division sneaks are soooooo bad (as in really horrible) we might just have to buy a pair.

This Woman Snores Like A Duck
Cleveland: The Land Where Bears Are Made Of Cardboard
Louisiana Government Loves Themselves Some Halle Berry






