Wormwood Doesn’t Make You Hallucinate – It Just Gets You Drunk
Or so say the findings of a team of German scientists with their recent paper in the Journal of Agriculture and Food Chemistry. The green, anise-flavored liquor previously thought to be hallucinogenic turns out to simply be a stiff drink. It’s back to the drawing tables for Marilyn Manson! His Mansinthe absinthe can’t really be as gothically potent as he claims but if you drink enough of it, you might cut your ear off Van Gogh style while listening to his music.
FIBA Ends 75-Year Relationship With Trapezoid, Admits to Falling In Love With Rectangle
What? What’s a trapezoid? What’s a rectangle? If you’re asking yourself those questions right now, you’re not alone. Hundreds of NBA players are also preoccupied with polygons after the International Basketball Federationâ€â€that’s FIBAâ€â€announced it would replace its trademark trapezoidal key with the NBA’s rectangular key in 2010.
The Billy Letters
Back in the late 90s, pop-culture historian Bill Geerhart decided to write letters to a whole slew of famous and infamous people posing as a ten-year-old boy named Billy. Some of the responses are downright hilarious. Incarcerated rapist/serial killer Richard Ramirez wants Billy to “send some girls in bikinis,” while Larry Flynt tells Billy he will indeed have to wait until he is 18 until he can get a subscription to Hustler. Other favorites include Charles Manson, the Unabomber, Dick Cheney, and Clarence Thomas.
It’s Time To Lay Off The Roids
When your friend at the gym starts to do sh*t like this, you should probably stage an intervention. Oh yeah!
Dick Cheney’s Plane Blows Too
No everyone, Air Force Two is NOT the sequel to Air Force One. It also doesn’t have an escape pod hidden inside of its belly (pretty much everyone likes Harrison Ford more than Dick Cheney). Anyway, recently some yocal news media persons were told by the Air Force that standing so close to Air Force Two during takeoff was a bad idea… what the heck does the Air Force know about planes anyway?
Penis Theft On The Rise In Congo
Boys, if you’re heading to Congo’s capital city anytime soon, make sure you leave your boy parts someplace safe until you return. Penis theft and shrinkage is on the rise in Kinshasa, and there’s no guarantee that your most private of organs will make it back to penis-friendly territory unscathed, or even worse, at all. Our advice to those guys that are worried about getting their junk yanked while visiting the Congo, turn the boat around. As one famous white boy once said, “The horror! The horror!“
A Clock That Spells Time
A cool concept clock from Dutch designer Christiaan Postma. This Christiaan character mounted about 150 individual clocks onto a 4.5-foot-square panel in such a manner that the seemingly randomly arranged hour and minute hands spell out the appropriate hour at a given time. Wow. Pretty cool Christiaan! Hope you didn’t spend all of your time working on this.
Anyone For A Nice Tall Glass Of Pig Placenta?
Placenta 10000, the zero-calorie, peach-tasting, jelly beverage manufactured by Japanese company Nihon-Sofuken, is said to regenerate one’s appearance and boost energy. The only hang-up consumers may have is that they must drink the uterine lining of a pig to experience any rejuvenating benefits. If you prefer health drinks to taste more medicinal than peachy, the concentrated Placenta 400,000 extract might be more appropriate. Concentrated pig placenta…wow…bottoms up!
Florida Senate Busts Nutz Statewide
It’s possible that pickup truck drivers in the fair state of Florida may no longer be able to display bull genitalia reproductions on their trucks anymore. On Thursday, the Florida Senate passed an amendment to impose a $60 fine on vehicle operators displaying a pair of Truck Nutz on their ride. The bill still has to be passed into law, but pickup truck owners with balls across Florida are worried they might soon have to cover their gonads in public. Aw nutz!
Kellogg’s Milks Street Fashion For All It’s Worth
You don’t have to tell us. We know somethings have been missing from our morning bowls of cereal for the last twenty some years. It’s the same thing every morning: where are all the jeans and the skateboards and sh*t? Well, no longer. Kellogg’s is collaborating with street fashion GODS runts Under The Hood to create a whole line of gear that will keep you lookin’ as cool as a cardboard box! Make sure to check out UTH’s MeSpace page and remember, like Under the Hoods’ milk jug says, “PLAY HARD OR GO HOME!”
This Woman Snores Like A Duck
Cleveland: The Land Where Bears Are Made Of Cardboard
Louisiana Government Loves Themselves Some Halle Berry
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