Mother’s Milk for Milking Mothers
New mothers rejoice, and forget about the obligatory pre-party pump and dump! Finally a product that allows breastfeeding mothers to hit the bottle without making their babies do the same. Milkscreen is a two minute litmus-like test that detects alcohol levels in breast milk. With the goal of prolonging the breastfeeding experience, these handy strips will help mom tie on a responsible, adult, guilt-free drink.
Six Legs and Nine Lives
There’s more than one way to skin a Siamese cat…
It’s Never As Bad As You Think
For just a split second after your exposed gut knocked a half-filled can of Natural Ice onto your grime-encrusted Gateway keyboard while reaching for your freshly-microwaved Swanson Salisbury Steak Hungry Man dinner, the corner of your eye caught the cobalt reflection of your bloated, stubbly, sunburned face on your 17″ CRT monitor and you felt like the world’s most prodigious loser until a split second later, you remembered seeing this video and realized that at Disney Worlds all over the world, there are people dressing up in Star Wars costumes and dancing to Kenny Loggins hits and you smiled to yourself as you thought, “I feel like a million fu*king dollars.”
Proud To Be An Okie From Muskgogee
The Oklahoma Full Auto Shoot Convention is a family event held every year in Wyandotte, Oklahoma that features exciting competitions such as “Kill the Car,” and “Sniper Match.” What better way is there for fathers to bond with their daughters than to have them blow up cars with fully automatic machine guns?
Goin’ Ghetto
Ain’t nobody be likin’ bugs in dey mouth!
Passive-Aggressive Anger Management
Need to blow off a little steam? Look for the closest Passive Aggressive Anger Release Machine. For pocket change you can grind porcelain kitty cats into fine powder and smash baroque-styled figurines into bits. Throwing a plate across the room is probably more satisfying, but this civilized invention by artists Yarisal & Kublitz will surely help you exorcise aggression in a calm and organized fashion.
Wall Will Crush You!
Now you get to spend the next six months of your life in a wheelchair ruminating on the old Man vs. Man-made paradox.
The Literal Ace of Cakes
When personalizing something from the Walmart bakery, be sure to make your instructions clear.
Hello, Walmart? I’d like to have a cake written on. I’d like it to say “Best Wishes Suzanne,” and underneath that “We will miss you.”
The Comeback Coreys
We’ve been enamored with Corey Feldman and Corey Haim since 1987’s The Lost Boys. Even though they parted ways after License to Drive, we’ve followed their careers pretty closely. We’re still pissed off that Corey F. lost out on a Best Supporting Actor Academy Award in 2002 for his brilliant thespian-ship in Bikini Bandits Experience (watch a clip below); Chris Coooper can go suck an egg.
Anywho, we’re pretty freakin’ thrilled that both Coreysâ€â€Cories?â€â€are together again on A&E’s The Two Coreys. This is some for-real intense television programming…
The official Bikini Bandits Experience trailer:
A clip from The Two Coreys:
Arthur Knows Weather
As we’re writing this it’s 105 degrees Fahrenheit outside with the heat index. Guess it’s always hot in Hati… happy summertime.
This Woman Snores Like A Duck
Cleveland: The Land Where Bears Are Made Of Cardboard
Louisiana Government Loves Themselves Some Halle Berry
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