Kat Deluna "Sings" the Star Spangled Banner
You know, it’s not really that bad. The people of Dallas just overreacted a bit. There were some parts there where it sounded like Kat Deluna (who?) knew what she was doing. Oh, who are we kidding? BOOOOO. Get off the stage. We hope your parents are watching this. That’s what you get for trying to add your own flair to our national anthem. Hahahaha.
Japanese Rod Stewart Amazes
Shiny pink suit. Check
Spiky feathered mullet. Check
Muppet backing band. Check
Fake British eyes. Check
Kitty vs. Printer
Videos of cats freaking out are catnip for us humans.
Mmm…squirrel melt
Tired of tuna melts? Try a squirrel melt. It will have you saying, “More squirrel melt, please!”
Inflatable Penis Slide
Is this supposed to be a metaphor? Does it matter? Absolutely not. Watch the vid, y’all.
Woman Arrested For Wearing Hot Pants To Court
Listen up ladies and gentlemen (lookin’ at you John Stockton)  if you’re going to wear shorts to court, make sure you follow the old “below the fingertips” rule. Actually, don’t even wear shorts to court. It’s completely inappropriate. Who wears shorts to court and doesn’t expect to be called out? Kirstie Arnold, that’s who, and she went to jail for it.
Last Call – An Unusual Contest at TheUnusualTimes.net: Win A Theremin
TheUnusualTimes.net has been running this contest for a little while now, and they’re drawing a winner on September 10. The absolute last day to sign up to win a Moogâ„¢ Etherwave® Theremin Prize Package is September 9. The winner gets a whole bunch of stuff:
(1) Standard Moog™ Etherwave® Theremin, with 110VAC Power Supply
(1) 10′ Audio Cable
(1) Microphone Stand
(1) KB-15 Theremin Amplifier
(1) Etherwave® Gig Bag
(1) Instructional DVD w/ 2 video tutorials
(1) Documentary DVD Theremin: An Electronic Odyssey
If you’re not sure what a theremin is, educate yourself or just watch these guys covering Gnarls Barkley.
Mr. T’s Flavorwave Turbo
Here at the Vulture, we love our George Foreman Grill, so we don’t take kindly to imitators. Sure Mr. T’s bulky-as-hell Flavorwave Turbo can cook a whole turkey in minutes, but we don’t share his “big, fierce appetite.” Also, we’d like to call attention to this ominous message Mr. T gives 25 seconds into the clip: “Sounds too good to be true? That’s what we’re about to discover.” If your Flavorwave Turbo stops working after the first giant turkey you cook, don’t say Mr. T didn’t warn you. On a side note, who knew Mr. T was friends with a bunch of inventors?
Turd Twister
Remember that Play-Doh extruder you used to play with as a kid. The one you’d load up with Play-Doh and squeeze all sorts of fun shapes from. That fun doesn’t have to stop just cause you’re older and got rid of your Play-Doh. Introducing Turd Twister. It’s a mold you insert in your pooper that creates a dazzling array of shapes when you’re just not in the mood for the eyesore that is the generic log. If you thought your girlfriend was amused seeing your poops before, wait till you see the expression on her face when she sees the Lightning Turd. What better way to say Happy Birthday than with a Birthday Turd! Forgot it was Valentine’s Day? Surprise her with a Love Turd!
The Churro Turd is our favorite because we imagine it to look quite realistic. Also, we’d stay away from buying a used Turd Twister.
Obama’s Two dads
We’re shocked, shocked, by this news. Shouldn’t science journals be all over this? Who got preggers– the black man from Kenya or the white man from Kansas? Who breastfed infant Obama? So many questions.
This Woman Snores Like A Duck
Cleveland: The Land Where Bears Are Made Of Cardboard
Louisiana Government Loves Themselves Some Halle Berry
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