Watch A Bird Take A Dump In A Toilet
Folks, you’re watching history. This is the first time ever a bird has taken a poop where it’s supposed to. Emil the 10-year-old parrot is an inspiration to birds everywhere (we know a thing or two about bird droppings). This means all you birds out there are gonna have to start dropping the kiddies off at the pool, not on our cars. If you fail to do this, we’re going to punish you like we would a human (bullet to the face).
VIRAL GOLD: Super Broker Shuffle
We don’t really know what’s going on, but we’re digging it.
Here’s a rundown of what went through our heads during the video:
0:15  Funny, you all don’t sound all that “enthused.”
0:34  Jefferson Darcy, is that you?
1:41  DO NOT leave your kids near this man!
2:08  YES! AHAHAHAHA!
2:34  This guy looks like he’s really into it, but he’s embarrassed to show it.
2:54  Did he just say “I’ll eat your lungs?”
3:16  Again with the “enthused”
3:59  AHAHAHAHA! Look at the guy on the left celebrating all by himself!
Look, we didn’t come here looking for trouble or anything, but these are the best four minutes and four seconds of 2009!
One Man’s Hot-Ass Babe Is Another’s Ass-Faced Hag
You know that young lady, old woman optical illusion? Have you ever wondered what you would do if you found out your girlfriend was the girl from the illusion? One the one hand, she’s really hot, but on the other, she’s vomitously ugly. Would you keep her around even though her freakish face could sneak up on you at any time?
Leave it to New York’s sketch comedy team Elephant Larry to tackle this important issue.
See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.
Does This Look Like The Most Beautiful Englishman To You?
According to a survey conducted by Gillette (the shaving dudes), asking men which celebrity’s facial features they’d most like to have, this is, in fact, the perfect Brit. The image, created with the help of a computer, features Hugh Grant’s hair, Daniel Craig’s eyes, Orlando Bloom’s nose, Jonny Wilkinson’s (some rugby player) mouth, Ewan McGregor’s jaw, and Lewis Hamilton’s (some F1 racer) skin.
Yikes! With a face like that, we doubt even Divine Brown would get down with it.
Meanwhile, Back In Washington…
This gem of a headline appeared on CNN.com last night. It was quickly taken down, so as not to offend any supersensitive CNN readers. Incidentally, by calling it a ball, you’re really asking for this kind of situation to happen.
But there was one problem; one tiny little hitch in their plan to erase the headline from our memories. You see, CNN’s got this special promotion where they put their headlines on American Apparel t-shirts and then sell them. “Some of the most historic shirts money can buy” is how the website puts it. (You can tell which headlines are on shirts when there’s a t-shirt icon next to it.) When they removed the headline from the site, they completely forgot to take down the t-shirt. Woops!
Get your “Obamas Juggle Inaugural Balls” t-shirt here!
Thanks, CNN!
Tiny Mexican Luchador Goes All Out
You don’t have to be a wrestling fan to enjoy this video. Hell, you don’t even have to like Mexicans. But after watching this video, you won’t be able to help yelling out “MASCARITA!!! MASCARITA!!!”
Not only does he throw a guy who’s three times bigger than him off the ring, but he also climbs on the ropes and jumps on the dude just to remind who’s boss…all while still dizzy from the first ass whooping. Respect!
Do You Really Have To Do WHAT??? In A Girl’s Mouth To Make Babies
This clip comes from the amazing Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! on Adult Swim. If you’re feeling a little down today, little Bobby Stoan’s song will cheer you up.
He’s just so adorable shaking those little legs of his! Look at how confused, yet so ready to sing, he looks! We wish we had our own Bobby Stoan around the Vulture offices to sing us little ditties.
Feast Your Eyes On Napping Nannas
We don’t know about you guys, but no day of ours is complete without seeing at least one picture of an old lady sleeping. That’s why we were particularly thrilled to come upon Napping Nannas, a blog dedicated to collecting such photographs. Now we don’t have to waste our time googling things like “tired Ethel” or “passed out Agnes” anymore.
So if you’ve got a stack of dreaming grama photographs just lying around the house collecting dust (who doesn’t), pass them along to the Napping Nannas blog for the whole world to enjoy.
The Curious Case of Forrest Gump
We haven’t seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, but apparently, we don’t have to since Eric Roth, the writer of both Button and Forrest Gump, made it identical to the 1994 Tom Hanks vehicle. Boy, are we glad we didn’t waste 166 minutes of our lives watching Brad Pitt prance around the screen looking all old and stuff (and still managing to be 40 times more beautiful than we ever will).
Star Wars Retold By A Girl Who’s Kinda Sorta Seen It
Some dude asked his friend to summarize the plot of the original Star Wars trilogy from the bits and pieces she’s seen. We’ve watched the movies countless times, and her version sounds about right to us. This is the kind of video that turns Star Wars geeks into murderous Star Wars geeks.
This Woman Snores Like A Duck
Cleveland: The Land Where Bears Are Made Of Cardboard
Louisiana Government Loves Themselves Some Halle Berry
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