MASHUP OF THE DAY: LOST Babies
LOST Babies follows the lives of Baby Jack and the rest of the LOST crew as infants. It’s a fantastic way to ease the youngsters into the greatness that is LOST.
There’s just something so satisfying about hearing Baby Kermit say, “Nerves just spilled out of her like angel hair pasta.”
If you liked that episode, there are two more here and here.
And for the hell of it, here’s the Muppet Babies intro.
Animals Reacting To Farts
We thought we’d take a break from our usual lowbrow humor today and present you with something a little more intelligent.
We scoured the net looking for the smartest thing we could find and settled on this brilliant video. (If you’re dumb, you’re not going to get the humor, so just go away. Today is reserved for the Doogie Howsers of the world.)
Without further ado, here is a cat reacting to a fart machine.
If you liked this video, Urlesque has compiled several more of animals reacting to farts.
Someone REALLY Loves Jesse And The Rippers
Remember on Full House when Uncle Jesse’s band, Jesse and the Rippers, recorded a music video for their cover of The Beach Boys’ “Forever?” Well, we needed a good laugh today so we looked it up on YouTube. (It’s cheesy-dramatic and it’s got Nicky and Alex!)
We expected the comments to be your standard fare of “this sux” and “wtf…lol,” but no, people are crazy in love with this song. Our favorite comment was a response to one of those “this blowz @$$” ones we just mentioned:
“ARE WE SERIOUS??….It’s more like are YOU serious??????. …..If you don’t like the video of John Stamos, then why did u take ur time to click on his link?? …..GET A LIFE LOSER!!, The only person who has no fucking talent is you. …So don’t hate on him, because u aint shit.”
We click on “the video of John Stamos” to laugh at him, you John-Stamos-obsessed freak.
HOW NOT TO GET A GIRLFRIEND: Play Star Wars Music On The Harp
Sorry, kid, but you’re just never going to attract the company of the fairer sex by going around playing Star Wars tunes on your harp. On the bright side, little Lando here probably thinks you’re awesome.
If you insist on playing that effeminate instrument of yours, why don’t you drop the sci-fi edge and play some tunes girls will be into. We’re pretty sure they still love John Mayer, so learn some of his stuff. You might feel girly playing such sentimental music, but c’mon, you play a harp! You should have no qualms about coming off as a wuss.
Trust us, kid. You’ll thank us in ten years.
Mr. T Fashion Show
Spring is finally here, which means it’s time to completely overhaul your wardrobe. Those down jackets, flannel shirts, and long johns you’ve been wearing these past few monthsâ€â€burn ‘em, you don’t need them anymore.
But you also don’t need designer clothes, because, as Mr. T, astutely puts it: “Would Calvin Klein wear clothes with your name on it?” Didn’t think so!
In this informative video, Mr. T, ever the fashionista, graciously teaches us that we can wear whatever the hell we think is coolâ€â€which includes going for the “hot dog” look with mustard socks and ketchup belt.
Thanks, Mr. T, we couldn’t have dressed ourselves without you!
This fashion show is a segment from Mr. T’s Be Somebody… or Be Somebody’s Fool!, which we’re starting to think is the greatest video of all time. (Mainly because it includes this musical number.)
What do you get when you combine willy wonka with saw?
You get Gobstopper, that’s what, and if you soiled yourself watching Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory as a kid, then you’re really gonna make a mess watching this trailer.
Everyone’s favorite martian, Christopher Lloyd, plays the sinister chocolate maker in this violent adaptation where golden tickets no longer get you a wondrous tour of a one-of-a-kind chocolate factory…they just get you a good ol’ torturin’.
Yes, that is Wee Man as an Oompa-Loompa
Heavy Metal Monk
Meet Cesare Bonizzi. He’s a Capuchin monk from Italy who, among loving God and other monk things, is really into heavy metal.
Cesare fell in love with metal at a Metallica concert 15 years ago, which begs the question: What the hell was a monk doing at a Metallica concert?
Whatever the reason, we’re glad he was there. This just goes to prove that when religious leaders and high-energy music combine, we all win!
(via Boing Boing)
Buy A Haunted Porcelain Doll From Ebay
This adorable little doll comes from the collection of an “extremely powerful” Hungarian gypsy witch, who is allowing her son to sell them on eBay so that their magic may reach a broad range of people.
WARNING: If you are creeped out by porcelain dolls, we advise you to either stop reading this or grab a roll of toilet paper.
Still with us? Great! Keep that toilet paper handy and read the item’s description:
This is Suzie.
She died when she was 13 years old.
She is an extremely depressed girl.
She would prefer to be in a home that doesn’t have a lot of other haunted dolls.
She needs a best friend.
She will visit you in your dreams.
Interested? Bidding starts at $9.99.
No offense, gyuritej, as we wouldn’t want to offend your powerful gypsy witch mother, but there is no f*cking way we’re buying a doll that will visit us in our dreams. It’s just not happening, man.
(via Urlseque)
Watch A Seahorse Give Birth
Watching a seahorse give birth is thrilling, thought-provoking, magical, and disgusting all at once (What birth isn’t). It looks like its belly button is coughing up these little tiny sperm-looking baby seahorses.
Did you know that the males, not the females, give birth? Yep!
Also, here’s what Wikipedia says about the courtship period between two seahorse lovers:
When two parties discover a mutual interest at the beginning of breeding season, they court for several days, even while others try to interfere. During this time they have been known to change color, swim side by side holding tails or grip the same strand of sea grass with their tails and wheel around in unison in what is known as their “pre-dawn danceâ€Â.
If that’s too sappy for you, then maybe learning that the youngsters have a 1:1000 chance of surviving is more up your alley.
And if you just can’t get enough seahorse action, watch the Seahorse Love Song music video!
Out of curiosity, how old were you when you learned you couldn’t ride seahorses like Aquaman?
We were 12.
Turtle Humps Sneaker
This video starts off all funny and (disturbingly) cute, why with the turtle grunting and making that face and what not. But then they zoom in on his manhood, and it turns into just sad and disturbing.
Poor thing just needs a sexy she-turtle around, though with a grunt like that, his attempts to nail her might be futile. Maybe you just keep that grunt to yourself, all right, buddy?
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