Billy Mays Orders Breakfast At McDonald’s, Tells Drive-Thru Woman To Take Her Shirt Off
People don’t come any more one-dimensional than infomercial personalities. These people aren’t complex, they just have one thing on their mind: scamming you. Take Billy Mays ordering breakfast at a local McDonald’s, for example. Watch as he tries to weasel free burritos out of the drive-thru girl. But he doesn’t stop there, he tries to sell Mighty Putty to her too.
Any man who talks in the third person is one with bestow our trust upon. (Also one who rides around a Bentley with $100 bills stuffed in his pockets.)
Don’t Just Shrink Your URLs, Cuteify Them
That’s right, you no longer have to settle for a random arrangement of letters anymore. SoCuteUrl takes your long and fugly URL, and transforms it into an irresistibly warm and fuzzy little thing. Honestly, which would you rather click on: http://tinyurl.com/c5v7fv (small and ugly) or www.socuteurl.com/sosowiddle (small and cute).
Cute makes all the difference!
Musafar Puts Dancing With The Stars To Shame
Would you rather watch some unremarkable F-list celebrity trudge around the stage for a couple of minutes, or watch two tiny men blow your mind with the most explosive dancing moves you have ever seen?
Thought so.
Musafar rocks!
This Music Video Will Change Your Life
Her name is Jan Terri and her song “Losing You” will forever change the way you judge female vocal artists.
We haven’t seen a music video this amazing since the days of Mike Gormley. If you’re a bit impatient, skip to the minute mark and watch from there, you won’t be sorry. It’s worth watching for the haircuts alone.
Boy, who would’ve thought that a such a hardcore biker chick could write a heartfelt gem like this!
Chewie Sings The Blues
Despite what people say about Mondays being the worst day of the week, we’ve always thought Tuesday deserved the honor. At least on Mondays you’re rested from the weekend. Tuesdays, however, are dreary. You practically have the rest of the week ahead of you, and you’re tired from the day before. (Not to mention having to catch up on the work you didn’t do the day before cause your mind was still in weekend mode.)
But you know what? It’s okay to be stressed and depressed, you’re not alone.
Since today is Tuesday, we thought we’d try to help out by giving you a nice blues song to listen to. It’ll help soothe those nerves.
So sit back and relax, and listen to the wonderful musical stylings of Chewie the Wookie.
(via The Daily What)
Sweet Silver Trash Bag Outfit, Yo!
What do you do when you have a bunch stupid-looking sci-fi costumes and no movie to use them with? You repurpose them into incredible weigh loss supergarments and sell them to desperate shopaholics, that’s what.
There’s no mention about how the Slim Suit actually works, so you pretty much just have to take their word for it. And when those people who tell you how awesome the suit is are also telling you that they look great because they’re one-size-fits-all, you know you’re in trouble.
The best part of this infomercial has got to be their misguided idea of “taking it to the max,” which apparently consists of lightly jogging in slow motion. Either we’ve gotten way more extreme in the last 20 years, or everyone in the ’80s was so lazy, they considered jogging hardcore.
Voluntarily dressing up like a cold war era sci-fi B-movie extra, makes us lean toward the latter.
FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE: The Best 9 Second Video YouTube Has To Offer
Watch and enjoy!
The Best Phone Sex music video you will ever see
When you think of the Village People, things like cruise ships, Bar Mitzvahs, and wedding receptions probably come to mind. Chances are, hilarity and awesomeness never factor in.
Well, that’s all about to change.
Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to hear a song that is so unbelievably fantastic, it will forever change the way you think of the Village People. It’s called “Sex Over the Phone” and it will blow you in the mind!
Flying Horse Caught On Tape
We’ve always thought that if horses could fly, we’d be first in line for a ride. Soaring through the air on horseback just seems so magical. We pictured it to be a lot like this (but with a horse instead of Falkor).
After seeing this video, however, there is no way in hell you’ll get us to fly on a horse. The way it buzzes around like a bee is nothing short of horrifying. Look at its faceâ€â€there’s nothing but murder in its cold eyes.
We fully expect this new breed of steed to take over the world shortly, as we have no idea how to fend off a flying horse. Ideas, anyone?
We’re gonna go hide now.
Self Defense Doesn’t Get Any Better (Or Creepier) Than Magical Martial Arts
Master Eastwest is a creepy-looking bald guy who lives in a cave. He claims to be the spirit of Martial Arts and the keeper of ancient secrets. He likes to teach young, unsupervised children songs and dances in his cave. These songs and dances are part of his Magical Martial Arts program aimed at teaching kids how to deal with bullies. His motto is: “Isn’t your life worth more than a burger and fries.”
If Master Eastwest’s lessons are to be believed, the best way to beat a bully is to “Walk away, run away, step away, getaway. Anyway that lets you be well on your way.” Ain’t that the truth! When we faced bullies back in the day, we really intimidated them with our badass fleeting ways. Everyone who’s anyone knows that the fight is in the flight.
Unfortunately, Master Eastwest doesn’t teach children to stay away from suspicious alleys or strange men in caves who tell groups children he is inside each and every one of them.
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