Croatian Bakery Hires Chuck Norris As Head Security Guard
Okay, so they didn’t technically “hire” him as much as they stuck a lifesize photo of him on their window with a sign that reads: “This shop is under the protection of Chuck Norris.”
Apparently, the posh Croatian bakery was victim to several robberies until they employed Chuck Norris’ picture. They haven’t had a break-in since.
Amusingly, the sign might be too effective. According to Mirna Kovac, a sales manager at the bakery: “We have had a few customers come in and ask us whether they can get Chuck’s autograph. They really believe he is sitting in our storeroom out the back ready to pounce on any burglars.”
Croatians are so silly sometimes.
There’s no picture of this posh Croatian bakery, but we’re pretty sure it looks like this.
Read the full article here.
(image from Daily Telegraph)
The First DJ Battle Ever Recorded
Here’s a little Monday afternoon trivia: Did you know that DJ battles were started by two old Russian dudes in the 1930s?
VULTURE EXCLUSIVE: Amazing Action Sequence From J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek
Hey, Star Trek comes out today. To whet your appetite, here’s an awesome action scene featuring Spok like you’ve never seen him before.
That’s gonna look bangin’ on IMAX!
My Little Pony Is Coming To Theaters
And we really, really, really wanna see it. Honestly, we never thought we’d say this, but My Little Pony the Movie is gonna kick ass! There’s guns, explosions, hot chicks, outer space…seriously, what more could you want?
We’re camping out at the cinema right now. There is no way we’re going to miss opening night.
We want the toys of this movie based on toys so bad!
(via Secret Sauce)
Your Life Isn’t Complete Until You Hear The Dramatic Reading Of A Badly-Written Breakup Letter
Trust us, you NEED to hear someone read this sentence dramatically:
“I hate you and also guess what my mother hates you to that she the one who put me to do this, you come to breakfast every morning and i aint stupid you try to sit next to me and my lil bro who only 7YRS old hates you to and dont even know what you did and is always blocking your chair haha!”
So turn your volume up, make sure you’re not going to be interrupted for the next two minutes, and click here.
You will laugh. You will cry. You will yearn for more. It will be the best two minutes you spend in 2009.
Denise Richards Sings The Hell Out Of "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"
And by “sings the hell out of,” we mean, “sounds like hell singing.”
Seriously, the woman sucks at acting, sucks at staying married to Charlie Sheen, sucks at dancing with fellow stars, and sucks at having a reality TV show. Where does she get off punishing Cubs fans in this ghastly manner. Those poor folks have had it bad enough, why with not winning a championship in a hundred years and Steve Bartman and all. Give ‘em a break, lady.
This Just In: Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat Is Awesome
You know how adding Yakety Sax to any video instantly makes it funny? Well, adding Play Him Off, Keyboard Cat to any FAIL video instantly makes it new and fresh again.
In other words, if you thought you were done laughing at the Grape Lady, boy were you wrong!
The moment you hear that keyboard beat start up and you know that ridiculous cat’s about to appear…man, that’s internet perfection.
All the best ones are collected at PlayHimOffKeyboardCat.com
Dancing Chihuahua
Now that Mexico is practically shut down because of swine flu, what are Mexicans supposed to do for fun. Everyone knows that being stuck at home is a real drag.
You might think it’s not THAT bad to get stuck at home, why with video games, DVDs, and the internet at your disposal, but you gotta remember that this is Mexicoâ€â€there’s no electricity there! All they have are chihuahuas and mariachis.
Wait a minute, are you thinking what we’re thinking?
If you combine the two…
Yes! This plan might just be stupid enough to work.
This Woman Snores Like A Duck
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