Are you a neurotic pet owner? Do you think neutering dogs is degrading? You wouldn’t want to walk around without your testicles, so why should your dog (or cat, or bull, or horse, or monkey, or rat)? Well, thanks to Neuticles, they don’t have to.

Neuticles are prosthetic testicles that are implanted during the neutering procedure. According to the website, “Neuticles allows your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering.” Right on!

If you’ve got questions, like, “My vet said Neuticles are not ethical. Is that true?” and, “Can Neuticles be implanted in people?” there’s a great FAQ on the site.

Here’s an interview with Neuticles founder, Gregg A. Miller.

Gregg A. Miller, you’re creeping us out with those eyes, man!

And just when you thought that the Neuticles fun was over, they go and make necklaces and earrings with the fake balls. (You gotta scroll down in the merch page to see the goods.)

Gregg A. Miller is also the proud author of Going…Going…Nuts!

Remember Kato Kaelin? He was OJ’s lovable houseguest during that whole murder trial. Wondering what he’s been up to the past 15 years? Well, according to Wikipedia, he’s been in a couple of reality shows (our favorite one being a never-aired show called House Guest that involved him staying at minor celebrities’ houses), he’s gone on a speaking tour, hosted strip poker games featuring Playboy bunnies and WWE Divas, and befriended, and subsequently unfriended, Norm McDonald. Oh, and he’s been playing some keyboard too.

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One day, we hope to grow up to be Kato Kaelin.

A word of advice: If you were thinking about spending some naked quality time with your computer, make sure to keep Spot in his kennel.

Next time, at least wear underwear. We can’t imagine how funky your computer chair must smell.