If you woke up this morning wondering what the Louisiana State House of Representative has been up to lately, you’ll be happy to know that they’ve been keeping busy singing inappropriate songs about Halle Berry.

Here are the lyrics.

You know what’s scarier than finding a bear in your backyard? Finding a douchebag hiding behind a cardboard bear in your backyard.

This has got to be the saddest reenactment we have ever seen (and we’ve watched our share of E! True Hollywood Story). Keep up the horrible work, Cleveland!

What is it with Cleveland and hastily-made videos? And if you think this video is fake, you’re wrong.

If while watching this video you’re not overcome with the urge to pull this woman’s cheeks, you’re probably a serial killer.

Can’t get enough of this sweet lady’s sleeping habits, here’s more footage of her.

The eccentric Phil Thomas Katt of The Uncharted Zone (the best TV show you’re not watching) has done it once again. First, he discovered the amazing Mark Gormley, and now he’s got a new talent.

He goes by the name Dr. Breeze, and it’s easy to see why. Just listen to “Because of the Brave” and tell us you don’t feel like you’re driving a Mustang convertible down an empty winding road. To say that Dr. Breeze is smooth is a sheer understatement. Relaxing and patriotic, this song is perfect for a 4th of July cookout. Keep it on repeat all day, you’re not going to get tired of it. And thanks to the blue screen expertise of Phil Thomas Katt, the video is a doozy.

As great as Dr. Breeze is, we would also like to acknowledge his backup singers, particularly the enthusiastic young man in the black t-shirt. Your intensity and energetic hand gestures ring every bit as loud as the freedom you proudly sing of. Great job!

Well then, you’d get this:

Why has it taken SIXTEEN YEARS for this video to come out?

(via)

Generally speaking, there are three things every guy hates: his body, being treated as a sex object, and having his feelings disregarded.

This informative ’80s video perfectly captures the sensitive inner workings of the male psyche.

Remember, Ladies, no matter how much you want it, no always means no.

Poor Shawn Johnson. The 17-year-old gold medalist and Dancing with the Stars champion had to be put to sleep today after breaking her leg.

After doctors informed her parents, Doug and Teri Johnson, that she would never be able to compete professionally again, they made the tough decision to put her out of her misery with a quick shot to the back of her head.

The Onion has an exclusive interview with Doug and Teri Johnson.

Did you know that we’ve been wiping our own asses for OVER 100 YEARS! That’s insane, right? You’d think we’d have invented some better way of cleaning our poopers by now. (And if you’re thinking bidet, you’re stupid. No one wants to squirt freezing-cold water up their butts.)

Luckily, the deft (and trustworthy) people at Telebrands have struck gold yet again with the Comfort Wipe. Basically, it’s an 18″ plastic butt-wiping stick.

And can you believe they’re ONLY $19.99 (plus $7.99 shipping)!

So today, the powers that be announced that Web 2.0 was the one millionth word in the dictionary.

You know what, that’s just too nerdy, even for us. If we were in charge of adding words to the dictionary, we definitely would’ve gone with Bro Mitzvah.

What’s a Bro Mitzvah, you say? It’s the black Bar Mitzvah, DUH!

If you didn’t make a point of watching Mark-Paul Gosselaar on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last night, you missed out BIG TIME because the Saved by the Bell actor didn’t show up as his boring self—he showed up as ZACK MORRIS (with brick cell phone and everything)!

You know who’s really happy about this? This guy.

(Click here if the video player isn’t working)

Now Jimmy’s got a petition going to get the cast of Saved by the Bell to reunite on his show. Sign it here.