This site answers the age-old question: Are celebrities still beautiful with upside-down faces?

You be the judge!

Upside-down Travolta totally looks Thumb-Man! Also, he looks like he probably slobbers a lot. (We wouldn’t trust upside-down Travolta to pilot our plane.)

Did you know that we’ve been wiping our own asses for OVER 100 YEARS! That’s insane, right? You’d think we’d have invented some better way of cleaning our poopers by now. (And if you’re thinking bidet, you’re stupid. No one wants to squirt freezing-cold water up their butts.)

Luckily, the deft (and trustworthy) people at Telebrands have struck gold yet again with the Comfort Wipe. Basically, it’s an 18″ plastic butt-wiping stick.

And can you believe they’re ONLY $19.99 (plus $7.99 shipping)!

Are you a neurotic pet owner? Do you think neutering dogs is degrading? You wouldn’t want to walk around without your testicles, so why should your dog (or cat, or bull, or horse, or monkey, or rat)? Well, thanks to Neuticles, they don’t have to.

Neuticles are prosthetic testicles that are implanted during the neutering procedure. According to the website, “Neuticles allows your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering.” Right on!

If you’ve got questions, like, “My vet said Neuticles are not ethical. Is that true?” and, “Can Neuticles be implanted in people?” there’s a great FAQ on the site.

Here’s an interview with Neuticles founder, Gregg A. Miller.

Gregg A. Miller, you’re creeping us out with those eyes, man!

And just when you thought that the Neuticles fun was over, they go and make necklaces and earrings with the fake balls. (You gotta scroll down in the merch page to see the goods.)

Gregg A. Miller is also the proud author of Going…Going…Nuts!

So today, the powers that be announced that Web 2.0 was the one millionth word in the dictionary.

You know what, that’s just too nerdy, even for us. If we were in charge of adding words to the dictionary, we definitely would’ve gone with Bro Mitzvah.

What’s a Bro Mitzvah, you say? It’s the black Bar Mitzvah, DUH!

If you didn’t make a point of watching Mark-Paul Gosselaar on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last night, you missed out BIG TIME because the Saved by the Bell actor didn’t show up as his boring self—he showed up as ZACK MORRIS (with brick cell phone and everything)!

You know who’s really happy about this? This guy.

(Click here if the video player isn’t working)

Now Jimmy’s got a petition going to get the cast of Saved by the Bell to reunite on his show. Sign it here.

Mr. No Legs truly is amazing. Watch him take down goon after goon using just his two hands and crotch stump. He’s also equipped with a killer wheelchair that features ninja stars and side-mounted shotguns. Mess with Mr. No Legs at your own peril. (Though your chances of surviving an encounter with him are nil.)

Remember Kato Kaelin? He was OJ’s lovable houseguest during that whole murder trial. Wondering what he’s been up to the past 15 years? Well, according to Wikipedia, he’s been in a couple of reality shows (our favorite one being a never-aired show called House Guest that involved him staying at minor celebrities’ houses), he’s gone on a speaking tour, hosted strip poker games featuring Playboy bunnies and WWE Divas, and befriended, and subsequently unfriended, Norm McDonald. Oh, and he’s been playing some keyboard too.

(via)

One day, we hope to grow up to be Kato Kaelin.

A word of advice: If you were thinking about spending some naked quality time with your computer, make sure to keep Spot in his kennel.

Next time, at least wear underwear. We can’t imagine how funky your computer chair must smell.

We’re not ones to judge people by their appearance, but there’s no way in hell you’ll catch us having a beer with this belly-shirt-wearing, man-voiced, clinically-depressed giant baby duck. Dude, you’re just creepy, and your little song there isn’t helping you out one bit.

You want our advice? Get rid of the ridiculous hat, plush bow tie, belly shirt and diaper, and go buy yourself a suit. It doesn’t matter how old you are, Baby Huey, but if you sound like a man, then you are a man, so dress the part. And get a haircut while you’re at it, your current one looks stupid.

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This is probably the weirdest thing we’ve ever seen for sale (and we’ve seen our share of Sky Mall catalogs). Wal-Mart-owned Sam’s Club is selling personal concerts by the once-quasi-famous Ryan Cabrera. And it costs a whopping $24,500 to boot. This is Ryan Cabrera we’re talking about here folks, not some current pop semi-sensation. We wouldn’t even drop a quarter in the guy’s guitar case if we saw him playing on the street, much less pay $25k to ruin our party.

If you look at the Sam’s Club page, it’s really bizarre how they describe him like they would a product, giving you a brief description followed by bulleted advantages.

The best part, though, is the shipping description. Reading it, you would have no idea they’re talking about a live human.

This product ships to all 50 states. Estimated delivery time is 4 weeks if shipping to an Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico or APO/FPO address via standard delivery. Tracking information for USPS shipments is unavailable.

They really make it sound like if you ordered a Ryan Cabrera personal concert, he’d come in a box (probably with ventilation holes and some dry ice to keep him from overheating).

If you’re thinking about buying the Ryan Cabrera personal concert, keep in mind, 1) Your daughter doesn’t like him anymore, and 2) This is what you’re getting for your $24,500: